Life lessons

Polarities have always fascinated me—the opposites that shape our lives. In my search for balance, I discovered that I was often in my masculine energy: focused on doing, control, and results. But deep down, I longed for a softer side, to embrace my feminine energy, which is all about surrender, presence, and connection. This desire led me on a path of self-discovery that led to tantra workshops and eventually to my first MDMA journey under the guidance of a psychologist. I expected this psychedelic experience to bring me closer to my feminine energy, but the journey took an unexpected turn. The harsh and dangerous reality of living as a witch in the Middle Ages gave me new insights into my distance from feminine energy. Being a woman is not always easy, and has often been dangerous. This time, I felt ready to move on and really delve into being a woman. My most recent MDMA journey brought surprising lessons about myself, my family, and the hidden stories that shape my feminine power. I’m excited to share my experiences and lessons with you, in the hopes that they will resonate with you too…

When a friend from a tantra workshop mentioned he was heading to the Sexibility Festival in Sweden, I was intrigued. The festival promised a unique mix of tantra, spirituality, and personal development, all set in the tranquil, remote surroundings of Ängsbacka - a place I'd only heard whispers about. Without knowing what to expect, I impulsively bought a ticket. Unlike the tantra retreats I was accustomed to, where the experience is carefully curated and shared by a tight-knit group, this festival offered a different approach: the freedom to choose your own path, selecting from a variety of workshops, or stepping back whenever you needed to. As the day of departure approached, I found myself filled with curiosity but also a touch of anxiety. I was going alone, with only a vague acquaintance to rely on, and I had no idea what awaited me. But everything about this festival was designed to break down those initial barriers, helping people connect quickly and deeply. In this blog, I'll share my impressions of the festival and some of the valuable lessons I learned along the way.

Most people think tantra is about sex, but it is a total re-eduction about life. How to get rid of limiting beliefs & old patterns that don’t serve you anymore, how to balance your masculine and feminine energy, how to deal with & process emotions and also, but not primarily, how to heal or revitalize your healthy sexuality.

I had been suffering from drooping eyelids for years. It even got so bad that my eyelashes were pressed down. Yet I had never thought about an eyelift, even though many friends (and friends) told me that they had done so and that it was a 'piece of cake'. However, when I lost a bit of vision in one eye a year ago due to a split retina, I became extra aware of the overhanging eyelids. Maybe an eye lift would give me some vision back? It was worth trying. But I thought it was super scary. Cutting a healthy body is not 'my thing'. Once again friends assured me that it wasn't that big of a deal.

More than 20 years ago, my friend Kristel's cat got kittens. We lived in Curaçao, but I would go back to the Netherlands to take care of my 12 years younger brother Michael R. Jacobs. I had no experience as a 'mother' but wanted to give him (and maybe myself) the most homely experience possible, after all the divorce we'd been through. That's how I got the idea to take the two kittens with me as a surprise.