Energy management

Inspiration shot July 2022

The past three months have been hectic. I got corona, one of my father’s caretakers suddenly left, I had to deal with the end of a complicated years-long relationship, lost my suitcase with ALL my clothes and found out that my olive trees are infected with a deadly disease. In addition, I continued to have problems with people I hired through an agency and had to transfer a number of projects for the fifth time(!).
Of course, there were also nice things; I bought another apartment in Italy, am in the early stages of a new relationship, and enjoyed two parties for my birthday. In the meantime, my work as a book-writing coach also continued and I helped four people to finish their books.
All this while traveling through 10 countries on 3 continents, organizing 4 retreats, attending 2 conferences and supervising 2 construction projects in Italy. This was quite a lot, even for me in just three months!
How do you keep your energy constant while everything changes around you? Some tips in this Inspiration shot.

Conscious uncoupling

Unfortunately, most relationships end in conflict. That takes a lot of energy. A years-long complicated relationship had already cost me a lot of energy. Was there a way to close it in a good and beautiful way? I had read about conscious uncoupling and wanted to give it a try. We put together a ceremony and it was magical!
A wonderful experience to transcend ‘the story’ and to look from a higher level at what you have learned from a relationship. How you have grown, and how you can continue together as friends, without the relationship part.
I recommend it to everyone, even if your ex is not cooperating. You can also do this on your own. I wrote a blog about it.

My olive trees are dying?

I am afraid my Italian dream is turning into a nightmare. The deadly bacterium Xylella, which has already killed all olive trees in the south of Italy, has arrived at my Tiny Trullo land. Google confirmed: there’s really nothing you can do about it.
I felt defeated and powerless. All the locals seem to resign themselves to it or try to ignore it or hope for a miracle. I just can’t give up. My land, all of Puglia, is nothing without those majestic centuries-old olive trees.
Through word of mouth I about an experiment, which gives a glimmer of hope. Just the feeling of trying something gives me energy and control, the feeling of not being dependent, not having to sit and wait for the blow to fall. Read more in my blog ‘Save my olive trees!’.

Lost everything

On the way from Puglia to the Netherlands, my hand luggage was confiscated under protest, as I got onto the plane. I was already afraid this would happen: my bag never arrived at Schiphol. So frustrating! I literally had nothing: no toothbrush, no underwear, no flip-flops, and no sportswear. It also meant a lot of work: improvising temporarily, buying the essentials, and then re-ordering things. That will cost time, money, and energy, which are scarce anyway. Scarcity gives a feeling of stress and pressure.
When I realized what I had lost, I panicked a bit at first. My super well coordinated capsule wardrobe, which I’ve collected over the past few years: gone. Many of the items I could never get back.
Still, I found a way to turn this into an ‘opportunity’. Of course, they are just “things”. I visualize every day that my bag is found and how happy I am to get it back. And in the meantime, I’m going shopping at KLM’s expense. See my new dress below.
PS. just before sending this email, I managed to collect my bag from Schiphol! Check out these happy pictures.

Tips voor energie management

  • Accept what is; don’t try to change something you have no control over.
  • Listen to yourself – to your body.
  • Take a rest. Meditate.
  • Watch your food: do not burden your body even more with coffee, alcohol, drugs, too much sugar, etc.
  • Sleep as much as you can. Your body recovers in your sleep.
  • Say “no” when necessary.

Find something that allows you to be completely ‘in the moment’. For me, that is tango dancing. It makes me so happy!

Just some stupid fun

Sometimes you just need to be distracted. Then it helps to watch a ‘pointless’ movie to take your mind off things. I have found one: Fire Saga, a story about an Icelandic failed singer who participates in the Eurovision Song Contest. At first, I thought it was a true ‘success story’, but as the film progresses you quickly realize that this can’t be the case. Entertaining enough to mention here.

Congratulations Marcia!

Writing a book about your psychosis, based on your own experience AND as a psychologist, that is quite something. Marcia has risen to the challenge; she shows her vulnerability and at the same time her strength. I’m so proud of the way she did that. And I am grateful that I was able to guide her a bit in that process of ups and downs with this beautiful result.
Far more people than we think are struggling with psychological problems. Sometimes your personal story – no matter how difficult it is to share – can help others to discuss their situation.
Do you toy with the idea of a book, do you doubt whether you dare, or are you not sure how and where to start? Send me a message to discuss if I can possibly help you on your way.

Did you know...?

…that I get energized when I feel at home somewhere? Then I feel safe and seen. Then I don’t have to pay attention to whether I am being conned or played,  my ‘antennas’ can be ‘turned off’ for a while. I have a number of places like this in the world.
For example, I celebrated my birthday party at my ‘neighborhood cafe’ Gezondigd on Haarlemmerplein in Amsterdam (by the way, this is also the place where you can pick up the olive oil you ordered; then you can have a cup of coffee on my account!) Owner Gerben had baked my favorite banana cake and made me and my guests feel at home all day long.
Giuseppe and Catia from Osteria da Giuseppe in my village Ceglie Messapica (Puglia) gave me an extra warm feeling of welcome when it turned out that they had a teacup made with my name on it; I am the only person they know who drinks tea!
What gives you that nice, safe feeling of ‘home’?

Where is Esther?

After the extremely high temperatures in Puglia (38 degrees every day!) I was delighted to be back in Amsterdam. My birthday was sunny, many friends came over, even my ‘Digital Nomad’ friend Willo, who had just landed from the USA. We have now been ‘living together’ for two weeks: 10 days in Amsterdam and then a few days in London for the Dynamite Circle conference of our location independent entrepreneurs friends.
It’s super fun to live and work together like this, although that also requires energy management. Fortunately, we both like being alone and doing our own thing, because that’s the way I recharge after social activities.
After London, I’m back in Amsterdam for a while. Recently I stayed in a beautiful apartment in Oost through a barter deal. Still, I like it when I can go to ‘my’ Haarlemmerplein neighborhood again because I feel at home there and I can relax.

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