Inspiration shot March 2023

What if you seem to have everything in your life ‘under control’ and then suddenly get confronted with a health issue? A ‘devil’s dilemma’ even? Then you are forced to look at your situation with completely different eyes. Especially if – in my case – it concerns an eye problem, having already lost partial sight in 1 eye, and the risk of becoming blind suddenly seems very real…
How do you deal with such a situation or a similar setback? Do you listen to the experts? Are you going to do your own research? Who do you trust more? The doctors or your own gut feeling? In this inspiration shot we dive deep, very deep into the human psyche. Do you dare to dive?

Afraid of nothing?

“Uncertainty is my comfort zone”, I am often quoted. Many people think I’m not afraid of anything, but that’s not the case. I’m also afraid, just of different things than most people. Dutch magazine ‘De Optimist’ interviewed me about this. What are you afraid of, and how do you deal with it?

Breath, sound & movement

For a few years now I have been on a journey of discovery in an – for me – unexplored area: emotions. I always thought they were ‘annoying’ and ‘not productive’; therefore I had made it an art to hide, suppress and deny them. However, that takes a lot of energy. Plus it could even cause physical problems because the energy of a traumatic event has to go somewhere.
Now, however, I am learning that emotions are a tremendous force. And that breath, sound, and movement can help you feel, acknowledge and process them. In that way, traumatic events are not stored in your body, but you can let them go.
This is quite normal in the animal world: animals shake or vibrate the tension from their body after a traumatic event. In this video, you can see how an impala that narrowly escaped a predator processes the stress.

Which ‘camp’ are you in?

When I shared the ‘devil’s dilemma‘ about my eye problems (should I get the surgery or not yet), I got a lot of comments and advice from my followers and friends. I noticed that people deal with such an uncertain situation in roughly three different ways:

  1. “Do what the doctors say.” If he says: surgery, follow that advice immediately. Don’t risk your health and especially your eyes, trust the experts.
  2. “Get a second opinion.” Take what the doctor says seriously, but do your own research and get a second opinion, or even a third opinion, before making an informed decision.
  3. “Feel…” Do your research, ask different experts, including those in the alternative field (what could be the underlying issue or symbolism that demands attention?), and also listen to your body, your gut, and your intuition. What do you feel? Are you afraid? Do you feel like you can wait a little longer? Do you feel a strong yes or no to any of the options? If no one can give an exact indication of the risk of an emergency requiring immediate surgery, how do you estimate the likelihood of that happening?

What I did: I used my network to find two experts in different countries, to get a second and third opinion, without waiting lists. I am exploring the deeper meaning of eye problems and trying to get an idea of my options, the possibilities, the best technologies, and the risks. Since I don’t immediately feel a ‘yes’ to the operation, I have decided to wait and – very carefully – continue my life and travels for a while. So no heavy lifting, no running, jumping, or exercising, minimizing the risk of a sudden movement or blow to my head. I now look for the best ophthalmologist for every place I go, so that if I get a sudden retinal detachment, I can have surgery within 2 days, to avoid the risk of becoming permanently blind in that eye.
A friend wisely said, if it’s a field that gets exponentially better every year, then there’s a good chance better technology/new methods are available if you wait 3 years.

I’m curious: which of the three reactions do you identify most? How would you deal with a challenging health situation?

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Inspiration bites


And a few years ago, China’s got talent was won by a pianist… without hands.
Liu Wei lost both arms in an accident when he was just 10 years old and then learned to play with his… feet!
This is his audition: beautiful to see and a unique ‘no excuses’ inspiration.


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Did you know...?

…that I just did a tantra retreat? Yes, you read that right. It is already my fourth tantra event in the past 6 years. I actually told most people I would join a yoga retreat, but why not just be open about it?
Tantra is often associated with sex, but I have come to appreciate it for its life lessons and new ways to deal with emotions. Actually, we should all get this (re)education: stop hiding your emotions, ignoring or suppressing them, but acknowledge them and let them flow through you. After that, you will feel much freer.
After my first retreat, I wrote the blog ‘tantra with a control freak‘. To be continued…

Where is Esther?

A few years ago I decided to always spend the month of March in Curaçao, and this year I managed to do that again. I catch up with friends, enjoy the peace & quiet, and my daily swim in the warm blue sea. At the end of the month I organize a writing retreat at the beautiful Landhuis Jan Thiel (there is still room for local writing talent!).
Right now I am in Miami for a week. Just a quick ‘hop’ to finally see my dear dad and sister again. My aunt and uncle from Canada are also visiting, so it’s a nice family reunion.
After this month-long trip, I will be in Puglia again for a while, including for the Workation Village Italy, in which some adventurous entrepreneurs come to work and mastermind in ‘my’ village for a few weeks. (There is still 1 spot if you feel called…).

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