Shadow work
Inspiration shot July 2024
Perhaps you are looking for shade under the sun during your vacation, perhaps you are confronted with your own dark sides now that the summer does not seem to be taking off in many places. Nowadays I actively seek out my own dark sides, during tantra retreats. And I do not avoid them in ‘normal life’ either.
Shadow work is a type of self-development in which we focus on our dark sides: characteristics or parts of ourselves that we normally prefer not to face or share with others. Things that irritate you in others, your so-called ‘triggers’ are often indications of where your own ‘shadow’ is.
Actively seeking out your shadow, exposing it and integrating it, is called shadow work. It is not therapy. So it is not a ‘problem’ that needs to be solved, it is discovering a part of you where some more development can be achieved. You get to know yourself even better by looking at your contradictions. In this inspiration shot I will go into this a little deeper. Dive into the dark with me, if you dare?
I am a ‘trickster’
Let me just come clean right away. One morning during the ISTA tantra retreat in Devon where I was two weeks ago, someone asked me for my triggers. My answer came quickly and without thinking: injustice and lying. I immediately thought of my ex, who turned out to have an affair and kept lying about it. That day the facilitator explained that he wanted to reveal his dark side and then continued very openly ‘I am a liar and a cheater’. He told us that he regularly cheats on his girlfriend and lies to her about it. Wow, someone who comes clean about it! I suddenly felt a huge wave of emotions go through me. This affected me deeply and unexpectedly.
Later that day, however, I realized that this was also a dark side of myself. I can also talk, reason and justify anything, even if it is wrong, and I do so regularly… I don’t lie to people, but within ‘the system’ I allow myself certain liberties, which I can of course ‘justify’ perfectly well. That’s how I discovered a dark side of myself. The word ‘trickster’ came to mind. I looked it up: ‘Tricksters break fixed patterns and stimulate creative solutions. To do this, they break the rules and status quo’. Voilà, this is me!
What about you? Who are you really?
The sweet pain of comparing
Comparing yourself to others is not the best strategy. Yet we all do it, unconsciously. When I was in Puglia at the end of June to go to the notary, I noticed that my olive trees seemed to be doing a little better than those of my neighbours. Their trees are more affected by the deadly Xylella bacteria and are often already 1/3 dried out, while mine are doing relatively well, with at most a few dry branches. In a way I am happy about that: it means that I made the right decision by hiring an expensive tree doctor and taking other measures. The reality is: I am happy with the situation, because I see the result, precisely because the trees of the neighbours are doing worse… On the other hand, my heart cries. Those poor trees! What is Puglia without trees? That horrible disease… It is a very mixed feeling.
Just before I left again, I took this photo from my new swimming pool. You can see my tiny house, the trullo in the background and one of my beautiful trees, in all its glory. My TinyTrullo paradise has been rented out all summer, but there are still a few openings: check more photos and availability on Airbnb.
Dilemmas
In a year I will ‘retire’. It is getting closer and closer. I am looking forward to more being and less doing, but on the other hand creates this decision also uncertainty. It is not like I have enough money to live on, without working. How am I going to survive financially? I try not to give in to the uncertainty, but focus on trust that there will always be a solution. First I have to implement this decision – which feels very good deep down. Then we will see.
Just after my birthday, I was in the enormous theatre that I rented for the theatre show next year. I felt excitement. But also doubt: will I be able to fill the theatre? And when I calculated the costs (well, I should have done that much earlier of course), I saw that even if it is completely full, I will only just break even.
And the show is in Dutch, while many foreign friends also want to come… I made another ‘bold decision’: I am going to offer a live stream, so that anyone, wherever they are in the world, can attend the live show. And – trusting that AI will be up to the challenge in a year – I promise everyone to be able to listen to the live show in English, and probably also Spanish and Italian… So: you can now also get an online ticket in your own language!
Workshop alert
Turn your passion into added value, and an income.
- Do you want to quit your job and start your own business?
- Are you trying to find out how to turn your passion into a money-generating business?
- Do you want to make your current business more profitable/visible?
How do you turn passions like travelling the world, writing books, dancing the tango, and taking pictures for social media into a money-generating business?
In this live online workshop, I will share my experiences and help you identify something you like, something that is unique, and show you how to make it profitable.
Inspiration bites
ESTHER AI IN ACTION
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“I have wanted to try working with AI and ChatGTP for a long time, but I didn’t really know where to start. Esther AI is so accessible! And I enjoy all the valuable text I can use to write my first book.”
I made a video to show you how to use it. It is in English, but my AI speaks any language!
FUN TIP
All your friends on Google Maps
Share your google location with your (nomadic) friends, so you’ll always know who is nearby. –> Go to Google Maps, make sure you are logged in, click your profile pic and select ‘location sharing’. Click ‘new share’ and select the person you want to share your location with. Make sure to select ‘until you turn this off’ to make it a continuous share. Ask them to share their location with you as well. It’s fun to see all your nomadic friends move around on your world map!
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR BOOK!
Impact maken met humor
Malinca Verwiel participated in my writer’s mastermind and joined an inspiration trip to Puglia. Now her book is out and it has already been reprinted!
She sent me her ‘How to have an impact with humour’ with smart tips to drive the audience crazy. I will definitely use her tips for my theater show.
BOOK CLASSIC
Tuesdays with Morrie
I am rereading one of my favourite books for the umpteenth time. ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ is a thin, simple book with a moving story.
Death is part of our lives, and yet most of us pretend it doesn’t exist. This story touches me every time, just like Mitch Albom’s other book: ‘The 5 people you meet in heaven’. Recommended!
Did you know...?
…that I still regularly go to tantra retreats? These challenge me to step out of my comfort zone, break old patterns, shake off conditioning and (re)discover who I really am. In this way, I try to restore the balance between male and female energy, which in my case had tipped too much towards male/’doing’. In this (cover) article in the Margriet Zomerboek* (which is now available in Dutch bookstores), I talk about my journey. More and more people seem to be interested (or have experience) in this form of personal development. What is your opinion?
*PS The link leads to a Facebook post with the English translation of the article in the comments.
Where is Esther?
When I landed in Amsterdam on the evening of my birthday, I had just survived three incredibly intense months, with 8 different locations in the last month alone. My body was now in the Netherlands, but where had my soul gone? The day before I was in Italy, and the day before that in the UK… where was I actually? Suddenly all the tiredness came out and I really had to make an effort to keep the appointments I had made. Then I collapsed. Proud of what I had achieved, happy that I had already planned the run-up to my retirement in such a way that I would never have to do so much in so many different places in such a short time ever again. Amen.
Although I had planned to be in Amsterdam for the entire months of July and August, I have already planned several trips… This week I am at the Dynamite Circle conference in London with my location independent entrepreneur friends. In August I am going to a festival in Sweden and then I will go completely offline for about 10 days for a second guided MDMA experience. I also have to go to Italy to get the new apartment ready for sale and I actually want to go to my father in Miami. In the meantime, I try to take some rest and also enjoy Amsterdam and my friends here. Another dilemma: do more of what I love or do less in order to recover?… Wish me luck… 🙂
PS. Did you know that you can always follow where I am hanging out via the calendar on my website?
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