LOVE
Inspiration Shot September 2026
What remains when everything else falls away?
A month ago, my father passed away. After more than ten years with Alzheimer’s, it was time. On the one hand I felt sadness, on the other relief. The two weeks in Miami were a roller coaster of arrangements, emotions and decisions. There were also many beautiful moments with my brother and sister, precious memories and new insights.
The most important insight: love remains. When you die, you take nothing with you. Not the hours you worked, the possessions you collected, the titles you earned or even the healthy body you always took such good care of. Opinions differ on whether the soul lives on. Love is something everyone feels. It continues in memories, stories and the people whose lives you touched.
In the end, we ARE love. I now understand even more clearly what truly matters to me in life. In this Inspiration Shot, I share a selection of the lessons this period has brought me.
Grief does not follow a step-by-step plan
How do you grieve? Alone or together? By standing still or by staying busy? In deep sadness or in waves of emotional moments? Grief has no fixed order and everyone experiences it in their own way.
In our case, we had ten years to get used to the idea and to say goodbye to our beloved father little by little. That does not make the sadness or the sense of loss any smaller. It did give me time to experience everything very consciously, to say and do what I still wanted to say and do, and to learn to love my father in a new way and express that love.
I spoke about this during his Celebration of Life in Miami. You can read the speech for my father’s farewell here.
When loved ones visit in your dreams
Two days before my father passed away, I dreamed that I had his passport checked. I even went back to the authorities to get an extra stamp, so I could be certain he was ready for his ‘journey’.
Around the time of his passing, my father also appeared in the dreams of other family members and friends all over the world.
So pay attention to your dreams. Perhaps this is one of the ways loved ones who are no longer with us try to reach out.
If you could travel back in time…
On Friday evenings in Amsterdam, I love going to the storytelling night at Mezrab. This time the theme was time travel, and they asked the audience: if you could travel back in time, which moment in your life would you return to?
I immediately filled with emotion. I would choose any random moment with my father. Any moment. Even the most ordinary ones.
Do not wait for a special occasion to tell your loved ones how you feel. Call your parents, record a conversation now and then, and save their voicemail messages. What seems completely ordinary today may later become one of your most precious memories. Read more in my Facebook post.
Can love survive time and space?
Some time ago, I had an experience that made a deep impression on me. I met someone I immediately recognised from previous lives. It felt as if we had been finding each other again and again for thousands of years, and as if our love transcended time, space and dimensions. I wrote about it earlier in my blog Can love survive time and space?
When my father passed away, that experience brought me comfort. A love this deep cannot simply disappear. I trust that, in whatever form, we will meet again someday.
Have you ever experienced anything like this?
PS Did you know that my father was a magician? When he was young, he performed as ‘Robini’. So he has pulled a few ‘disappearing acts’ before…. 🙂
Inspiration bites
During a patient’s hypnosis session, psychiatrist Brian Weiss unexpectedly finds himself exploring memories of previous lives. A fascinating and accessible book about reincarnation, healing and what may happen between lives.
Two patients in regression therapy appear to describe the same previous lives and to find each other again and again through the centuries.
A moving story about soulmates and a love that transcends time and space.
Did you know?
…books can hold on to what memory can no longer keep, and can even share it with the world?
As Alzheimer’s erased more and more memories, I gave my father a simple fill-in book called What I Love About You. I filled it with memories, compliments and little moments. Later, we looked through it together and he said in surprise: ‘You really love me!’
Books can preserve what memory slowly lets go of.
That is why I used my experience with books and publishing to record as many family stories as possible, from my father’s autobiography to the wartime drawings my grandfather made while in hiding, letters and stories from the Second World War, and family books that connect generations. See the photos and the full story on Facebook.
Which stories from your parents or grandparents would you still like to preserve?
Where is Esther?
After two weeks in Miami and a few days in Amsterdam, I am now in Puglia. This place helps me land, slow down and process everything that has happened. I always feel an incredible sense of ‘slowness’ here, exactly what I need right now. Nothing has to happen, everything is allowed. I sleep a lot, eat a lot (and well!), and see my local friends spontaneously, without planning weeks ahead.
Meanwhile, I am slowly getting back to work. A few manuscript assessments, RESULTant calls, two presentations during the AI Writing Summit, and one final hands-on AI workshop at my home in Amsterdam on 8 October.
My father inspired me to organise more events in places where I personally love to be. So I am (finally!) planning a writing retreat in Puglia at the end of May next year. Does that sound tempting?
My autumn is taking shape too: Seville with my university friends, Hong Kong and Bangkok with the Dynamite Circle, speaking at Founder Island Fest in Madeira in early December (want to join with a €100 discount? Use code ESTHER100), and finally my postponed MDMA journey. See my calendar and upcoming travels.
For the first time in ten years, I can make plans without the fear that I may suddenly have to fly to Miami because something has happened to my father. It feels strange, sad and liberating at the same time.
